Monday, November 14, 2005

Liberality And Injustice For All

I first wrote about this comic on my old blog last summer...

There is a new comic book miniseries out called "Liberality For All" (check the independent section of your local comic book store). The original description advertising it this summer stated:
It is 2021, tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of 9/11 It is up to an underground group of bio-mechanically enhanced conservatives led by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North to thwart Ambassador Usama Bin Laden's plans to nuke New York City ...And wake the world from an Orwellian nightmare of United Nations- dominated ultra-liberalism.

Needless to say, one question was on everyone's mind- Is this satire? A joke? It's a joke, right? Well, having read it, it's hilarious, but I don't think it's meant as a joke. I believe the author is very serious about this work and means it as a cautionary tale of out-of-control liberalism [assuming of course all the talking points and smears about liberals are true]. After O'Reilly's recent rant, can anyone doubt many conservatives think in these extreme terms? Yes, just like during WWII when that out-of-control liberal FDR failed to save us from the Great Depression and lost the war, surely liberalism will result in America's destruction.

The author in fact defends the seriousness of his work in the letters page. Oddly enough, his comments in this page were the only things that made me think maybe it was satire. For instance, in response to a question about why the comic hasn't received more coverage, the author responds with a rant about the "liberal bias in the comic industry". I just couldn't imagine a serious person writing that with a straight face.

Onto the book itself-

The book's premise is that Ralph Nader died in October 2000 in a car crash after swerving to miss a dog. What a leftie. So naturally, Al Gore became President. And after 9/11, President Gore (being a wimpy liberal) chose to negotiate with terrorists, rather than confront them. We see in 2002 Sean Hannity on the radio ranting about how Gore has done nothing to stop terrorims [note: unlike, of course, Bush's massive successes in the war on terror]. Because of President Gore's weak policies terrorists grew bolder, Iraq forged an alliance with Al Quaeda, and America became a dystopian nightmare of out of control liberalism.

Flash forward to 2021. America has recently merged with the United Nations, which years ago was given control over all world governments. Conservativism has been outlawed and those who speak out against the U.N. government (controlled by Secretary General Jacques Chirac) are rounded up by the U.N. police. A series of UN-enforced "Coulter laws" enforce these anti-conservative 'hate crime' laws, leading to the capture of fugitive Michelle Malkin and making Matt Drudge the FBI's most wanted criminal. Chelsea Clinton is president, Michael Moore is Vice President. The big story is that Osama bin Laden, UN ambassador for Afghanistan, is in town for a summit. He has renounced his past and has been embraced by the U.N. as an agent of peace. But secretly he plans to blow up the Freedom Tower on the 20th anniversary of 9/11!!!

Luckily for America, a secret underground network of patriotic conservatives are on the run from the U.N. and fighting for our freedom. Lead by the exiled Sean Hannity, they transmit a pirated broadcast radio show everyday to let the patriotic citizens know they are fighting. Hannity is joined by his fellow F.O.I.L. (Freedom of Information League) members, Watergate crook G. Gordon Liddy and Iran-Contra villian Oliver North. This group of ass-kicking patriots are all that stand between us... and total destruction.

Best line- G. Gordon Liddy to Hannity as they battle U.N. police with a laser gun:
"I evaluated the XM-8 model for the NRA, before the organization was officially disbanded... so many cold, dead hands. It shoots fine, but I hate all this electronic gun control junk. I have always found the best gun control was... BY USING TWO HANDS!!!!"

In the story, the narrator (a young patriot named Reagan McGee) rants about how Americans take their freedom for granted and won't fight for it... ignoring, of course, that chickenhawks like Hannity and his ilk have never served their country and would never fight when they could send others to do it for them.

Let's also ignore the obvious storytelling liberty that Democrats would have managed to stay in power from 1993-2021. No party ever stays in power for too long and does the author believe that Gore would've been reelected in 2004 after he ignored bin Laden? Well, George Bush was, so I suppose Gore would have been too. Also, the likelihood of a successful Chelsea Clinton/Michael Moore Democratic ticket is even less plausible than a Jenna Bush/Rush Limbaugh ticket. I doubt/hope neither would get pass the primaries... but again somehow George Bush smeared his way past John McCain in 2000, so I suppose anything is possible in the wacky world of politics.

The other thing that struck me as BS about this conservative wet dream is the idea (which the Hannitys always spout) that a President Gore would not have retaliated military for 9/11. They truly believe he would have done nothing. Yet Gore has said himself that he would've invaded Afghanistan immediately and not left until we had bin Laden (you know, that guy George Bush is not that concerned about). Gore would not have invaded Iraq, of course, and gee what a shame that would have been. The idea of Al Gore as a clueless, anti-war, negotiating peacenik is so stupid. Remember back in the 2000 campaign (can you?) that Bush/Cheney attacked the Clinton-Gore administration for being too trigger happy with the military. Bush/Cheney promised a more 'humble' (their word, not mine) foreign policy. They said that Clinton-Gore did not use the armed forces respectfully and were guilty of nation-building. Now they portray them as military-hating hippies! Holy revisionist history, Batman!

This is a must-have comic for fans of right-wing paranoia.

Issue #2 will be out in December, by the way.

[If you enjoy this, see also- Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!]

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