Tuesday, April 25, 2006

It's Official. Rush Limbaugh Has Lost His Mind.

Rush Limbaugh is now officially the conservative version of the left-wing 9/11 conspiracy theorists.

I thought the rant Mr. Limbaugh did last August about Cindy Sheehan and the evil of liberals was bad... but, my god. As I mentioned earlier, the right-wing is in full battle mode over the CIA agent for allegedly revealing Bush's secret (super-awesome) torture prisons. Nothing says "America" like a secret system of torture prisons, right guys? USA! USA! Anyway, they have been screaming for blood all day; they want her locked up and the key melted down. As Digby notes, "They are agitating to criminalize dissent".

Part of this was the discovery by some that the CIA agent (who now categorically denies being the source on this story) has donated money to Democrats. Therefore, they conclude, she must be attempting to undermine the Bush administration for partisan reasons. And it is on that note, that a friend sent me a message board discussion stating that Rush discussed, according to the poster, on his show that "the reason the war has gone the way it has, the reason we can't get Osama, the reason we're overrun by illegal immigrants -- eveything bad in this administration -- is determined by what he calls a Shadow Government. His theorizes that this government is run by Clinton appointees retained by Bush because he wanted a new tone of bipartisan government. But he didn't realize they would undercut his policies from within."

When I read that, I am was certain it was a joke. Turns out it's actually what Rush believes-
Investigate Clinton Shadow Government Now

(The above link is from Rush's official site where he has a transcript and an audio clip)

From the official transcripts-
"My first reaction to this was -- in fact, I was instant messaging with some people, and I'll just tell you what I wrote when I first saw this. I said, "[Blank] check your e-mail. I think this is just the tip of the iceberg and what's been going on with all these government leaks. They're all over the place. They're at State. They're at Pentagon, the CIA. Bush didn't replace them because of this 'new tone.' They've been out to destroy him and his policies from day one. The drive-by media will make this woman Daniel Ellsberg. They are Stalinists. "

Instant messaging? Ohhh, I can see it now...
MEGADITTOS69: hey its rush, did you see that shit about the cia traitor lib?
LOVEITORLEAVEIT55: WTF? yea i can't believe it, now the libs know about the torture prisonz, this war is lost! what could posess her to hurt americka like this?
MEGADITTOS69: jesus christ, dont u know? all these libs are working with clinton, who is actually just working on orders from bin laden. clintons got a whole shadow government going on in washington to undermine bush... and america too! theyve got people everywhere. the cia, the state dept, the fbi, nsa, white house, homeland security, everywhere. they even let some libs into congress!1
LOVEITORLEAVEIT55: OMGZ is taht true?
MEGADITTOS69: YES. and thats just the tip of the iceberg. come into the chat room with me and sean and ann, its not safe to talk one on one like this, they could be listening in... i mean i read that the nsa is tapping phones now!
LOVEITORLEAVEIT55: fuck.

I'm sure it would be funny if it weren't so close to the truth.

He then interrupts his conspiracy theory to share an actual joke with us-
"Have you, by the way, have you heard the joke going around? Two Iraqi spies met in a busy restaurant after they had successfully slipped into the country in the United States. The first Iraqi spy starts speaking in Arabic and the second spy shushes him up, "Hey, shh! Shh! Don't blow our cover! You're in America now, speak Spanish." Have you heard that joke going around? A little levity here to interject."

A little racist humor to lighten the mood. Thanks, Rush! Excellence in broadcasting!

He then insists there's nothing wrong with a little torture-
"But the fact of the matter is, Sam [Donaldson], check your polls; the American people were not upset about what went on at Abu Ghraib! George Bush won the election. They were not upset about what went on at Club Gitmo. They know we're in a war. 9/11 happened. When the movie United 93 comes out, Sam, go check out how many people go to see it."

Box office success for 'United 93' = proof Americans love 9/11-justified torture? Welcome to Limbaugh world, folks. I doubt that polls showed that Americans were okay with Abu Ghraib, but I'm Rush could find one if asked for proof. And because 9/11 happened, we throw our laws out the window? Rush should remember that Congress passed a new law banning torture last year. Did they not know we're at war?

By the way, Rush should check his polls. The President he adores so much is at 32%.

He moves back to the conspiracy, trying to connect the prison leaker to Wilson/Plame and the Clinton illuminati-
"I think we have a shadow government in operation. I see a relationship between all of this. Valerie Plame gets her husband, Joe Wilson, that Niger trip at the CIA. McCarthy is leaking from the CIA. I'm not saying they work together, but look at this effort! Look at how Plame at the CIA gets her husband a critical trip to Niger and then they turn it around to get a scandal against the White House when this White House did nothing but try to find out what the hell happened. Wilson continues to lie through his teeth; McCarthy at the CIA is leaking about the prisons. Somebody leaked the National Security Agency project. Somebody leaked that to James Risen at the New York Times."

Wilson lied? So there was a Niger deal? Even Colin Powell has verified Wilson's story now. Are they really still on this? The right really does believe that Wilson and Plame are the scandal. No, the scandal is the White House that manipulated the case for war and outed a CIA operative as an act of political revenge. And if Rush Limbaugh doesn't think there were leaks during the Clinton years, he must popping pills again. Leaks are a part of every administration and none has more dirty laundry to be exposed than this one.

He then continues with this, by my far my favorite part so far-
"Look at these Clinton generals. I mean, these guys were more than happy when they didn't have to actually go to war."

Yes, Rush, believe it or not, people prefer it when their country does not have to go to war.

[*faints*]

He concludes-
"This is really thick, folks, and I'm just convinced that we're just at the very beginning of understanding the full scope and nature of this shadow government that's out there... We need to get to the bottom of this before the election."

You heard him, folks. Call your Senators and demand to know the truth about Clinton's shadow government.

So much has gone wrong the past few years and us liberals and the "drive-by media" have been unfairly blaming it on President Bush. President Bush is actually a saint and I can't believe I ever believed he had done wrong. I have done some digging and have discovered that secret agents working for Clinton did the following: Forced the President to abandon his hunt for bin Laden, wrote mispronunciations of words into the text of Bush's speeches, forced the President to go to war with Iraq by providing him with faulty intelligence, paid Jack Abramoff to infiltrate the GOP, hired Sunnis to form an insurgency in Iraq, put up that 'Mission Accomplished' banner to embarrass the President, piled up them naked dudes at Abu Ghraib, gave Dan Rather those memos, rigged Diebold voting machines in 2004 with votes for Bush to help Bush win reelection so they could continue to undermine him, sent their secret agent Cindy Sheehan to Crawford, forced the President to nominate Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court, blew up the floodwalls in New Orleans, paid Mexicans to invade America, and tried to get Dubai to buy our ports. They are truly evil and will stop at nothing to embarrass our brave Commander-In-Chief.

Thank God Rush Limbaugh is here to expose the truth to America.

Seriously, though, all this ranting and the need to even have a conspiracy theory goes back to my theory of the Commander-In-Chief Cultists. These people need to support Bush... believing in him equals believing in America. Their entire worldview revolves around him being right. So they cannot accept that he is a bad President. They see his approval rating at 32% and their mind cannot fathom it. It can't be the President's fault; it just can't. It's the media's fault, it's Clinton's fault, it's umm, the media's fault. Partisan devotion is bad enough- and at least I can understand that- but this level of cultism is unreal.

The second aspect of this insanity is the continued right-wing obsession with Bill Clinton. It's time to move on, guys. You badmouthed his every move for 8 years, you impeached him, and his term expired. He hasn't been in office for almost 5 and a half years. It's time to find a new scapegoat for everything that goes wrong. George W. Bush is President now. Shit, I liked Bill Clinton and I barely ever talk about him anymore.

Finally, there is the simple fact that these people have embraced torture and rendition as American values. Therefore any who leaks about that isn't doing so for justified reasons, because what's wrong with a few secret prisons here and there? Even as Congress prohibits it and the President pretends to abhor it (while authorizing it behind his back), these people defend torture as just a part of the reality of our neverending War on Terror. The problem is just that... the War On Terror is here to stay. And so all these little things they use that war to excuse- torture, wiretapping, preemptive invasions, civil liberty violations, prison without trial, endless secrecy and lies- become a permanent part of American life.

And at that point, winning becomes hollow. When we become our enemies, we've already lost.

But what do I know? I'm just a part of the vast left-wing conspiracy.

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