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Next week, President Bush will be giving the first State of the Union address of 2006.

I'm sure the President will be reminding us that we live in perilous times (so fuck all them laws, he's at the zenith of his power!), but that doesn't mean we can't party! The GOP is sending out emails to those on their list with information on how to throw a State of the Union House Party (where all my Republicans at!). Click below to get started... Remember today is the last day to sign up to get a special GOP House Party Packet!!!



As the email states, "The President's State of the Union Address is one of the most important political events of the year". It is something to share with all your fellow Republicans. Share some nachos with the guys and discuss the greatness of the Republican party! Note, as per Ken Mehlman's orders, the following topics are off limits: Jack Abramoff, Tom Delay, Bill Frist, Bob Ney, pretty much Congress all together, FISA, the Fourth amendment, New Orleans, Iraq, Afghanistan, body armor, torture, civil liberties, Republicans concerned with civil liberties, oil prices, Patrick Fitzgerald's ongoing investigation, and Medicare. Beyond that, you should be fine! Stick to these guidelines and you'll have a blast!

Why just look at how much fun these kids are having! Not one left behind!



To be helpful, I've created this helpful drinking game-

*Take one shot when:
-The President mentions the 9/11 attacks (you can stop if the count passes 35)
-The President uses the above to justify illegal actions (ie. warrantless wiretaps)
-The President proposes a half-assed, doomed-to-fail Medicare plan (see: last year's Social Security scam)
-The Republicans start applauding for the most random lines
-The Democrats boo

*Take two shots when:
-The President distinguishes between open and honest debate... and the unamerican stuff liberals are saying.
-The President mentions freedom
-The President reminds us how totally awesome those Iraqi elections were (and that's totally why we invaded in the first place, ya know)
-The President mentions the threat of Iran and assures us a diplomatic solution can be reached
-The President then adds overly aggressive rhetoric anyway to remind them we're tough
-Dennis Hastert forces a smile

*Take 75 shots and check for flying pigs when:
-The President mentions Jack Abramoff
-The President apologizes for that "uranium" line from the January '03 speech
-The President reiterates a committment to rebuilding Iraq
-The President explains in honest and clear detail why he had to bypass the rubberstamp FISA system and break the law when everything he says he needs to do (spy on terrorists with great vigilance and speed) was completely possible legally and with a warrant, why he failed to fully notify Congress as legally required, why datamining and surveillance of innocent/activist Americans are being reported, and acknowledges that opposition to this illegal behavior is equal among Democrats and Republicans.

You may need to assign a designated driver.

Finally- don't forget to order your party packs!




Arianna Huffington makes her plans:
State of the Union 2006: Make Your Party Plans Now

Also, the Keyboard Kommandos unveil the New Freedom in time for the speech- Deal 'F' For Freedom

[PS- A sneak peek- Bush Previews State of the Union Themes (AP) ]