Alberto Gonzales Is Ready For His Closeup...

...Err, maybe not.

From Newsweek-

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has virtually wiped his public schedule clean to bone up for his long-awaited April 17 testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee—a session widely seen as a crucial test as to whether he will survive the U.S. attorney mess. But even his own closest advisers are nervous about whether he is up to the task. At a recent "prep" for a prospective Sunday talk-show interview, Gonzales's performance was so poor that top aides scrapped any live appearances. During the March 23 session in the A.G.'s conference room, Gonzales was grilled by a team of top aides and advisers—including former Republican National Committee chair Ed Gillespie and former White House lawyer Tim Flanigan—about what he knew about the plan to fire seven U.S. attorneys last fall. But Gonzales kept contradicting himself and "getting his timeline confused," said one participant who asked not to be identified talking about a private meeting. His advisers finally got "exasperated" with him, the source added.

Shit, that's more effort than I put into the SATs.

So you really only have two options here: Either Alberto Gonzales is a huge liar (spoiler alert: it's that one) who needs literally weeks of preparation to make sure the administration has its cover story straight even though the scandal is three months old now... Or he's an incompetent buffoon who can't manage the simplest tasks or keep track of his own Department. Either way, how can anyone defend keeping this man on as Attorney General?

So dude, seriously, just resign already. I know the President needs you to legalize torture, authorize warrantless wiretapping, turn the DoJ into a GOP political machine, enforce the laws of our nation, but this is getting pathetic. We're into Harriet Miers/SC nomination territory here.