Surprise Journal Entry about Surprise Visit and Surprise Press Conference!

[NOTE: This entry was written by my friend Bill for my LiveJournal group. It was so good and directly relates to the topic I was going to write on next, then I am reposting it here. Enjoy it... because laughing at all of this nonsense is important.]




President Bush called a surprise press conference today to discuss his surprise visit to Iraq. With this many surprises in one week, one might wonder what Bush has in store for us next! Perhaps he'll have a surprise tea party with Ali Khamenei, Kim Jong-Il, and Hamas. All surprises aside, the press conference had everything you would expect from your run-of-the-mill grilling of a man who has drastically slipped in the polls: strong rhetoric, self promotion, and a few laughs at the expense of Iraqis.

Here are some highlights:

Rhetoric!

"By helping this new government succeed, we'll be closer to completing our mission, and the mission is to develop a country that can govern itself, sustain itself, and defend itself, and a country that is an ally in the war on terror. We'll seize this moment of opportunity to help the Prime Minister. We'll defeat our common enemies. We'll help build a lasting democracy in the heart of the Middle East, and that will make Americans and Iraqis and the world more secure."

Self Promotion!

"And that's why one message that I will continue to send to the enemy is, don't count on us leaving before the message is complete. Don't bet on it; don't bet on American politics forcing my hand, because it's not going to happen. I'm going to make decisions not based upon politics, but based upon what's best for the United States of America.

Shameless Attempts at Humor!

(In regard to a question probing the deadline for providing electricity to Iraqis):

"The answer to electricity is, sooner the better. It's hot over there, (laughs to self, but changes tone when he realizes nobody else is laughing) and it would be helpful if people had the capacity to cool their homes. It would be a pretty good signal that the government is making a difference in somebody's life."

IRONY!

And what George Bush press conference would be complete without numerous ironic references to his feeble leadership skills:

"Democracy causes you to respond to the people's needs. Tyrants don't have to. They don't have -- sometimes they may have to, but they always have got kind of an interesting way of helping suppress dissent."

"Remember that Saddam did a really good job of milking the society to keep himself in power....And he divided society and pitted people against each other in order to justify his own presence."

"That's the great thing about being elected; you get a sense if people don't kind of like what you're doing, or not. "

(In an unrelated news story, Bush's speechwriter for the past seven years resigned today. Seriously, I'm not kidding.)